


technoblade fights dream (and bitterly regrets it)

by wheelsonthebus



Series: Minecraft YouTubers but they're Warrior Cats [1]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF, Warriors - Erin Hunter
Genre: Alternate Universe - Cats, Attempt at Humor, Canon-Typical Violence, Dream is a rogue, Enemies, Enemies to Friends, Fights, Friendship, Gen, George is a kittypet, Grudges, I MADE A WHOLE ALLEGIANCE LIST THING FOR THIS AU IM SO TIRED, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Sorry, Jokes, LMAOOO THAT FEELS SO WEIRD AS A TAG, Male Friendship, Mentions of BadBoyHalo, Mild Blood, Mild Language, Minecraft YouTubers as Warrior Cats....., Minor Violence, Minx is there if you squint, Protective Dream, The others are ShadowClan cats, Wilbur is a Tired Friend, and SkyDoesMinecraft, but like they're vaguely there, dw it's not very descriptive, friends :), just not here. not now. not yet, kind of, she takes my ideas and goes ZYOOM and now this is a thing, shitposting taken seriously, this wasn't meant to be an au taken seriously but my girlfriend, ty taught technoblade what "simp" means and now he can't stop using it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:54:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25344271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wheelsonthebus/pseuds/wheelsonthebus
Summary: Birdsong was giving him such an intense glare that he instinctively flinched.How stupid he must look, a massive white tom cowering away from a skinny ginger cat. He flexed his claws, muttering soft threats under his breath, anything to sound more like a warrior. Blood. Dick. Murder.
Relationships: platonic only heart emoji
Series: Minecraft YouTubers but they're Warrior Cats [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1835416
Comments: 17
Kudos: 145





	technoblade fights dream (and bitterly regrets it)

**Author's Note:**

> why do i start new works instead of finishing old ones? because fuck it, that's why.

"I have one rule for you, Bladeclaw. Just one rule. Only one."

The medicine cat paused for effect. His whiskers twitched, jowls slipping open as he struggled to word his request. His lip curled, eyes squinting, as he weighed up his friend, eying white paws dyed pink from blood stains. "Don't fight Dream. Don't do it."

Birdsong was giving him such an intense glare that he instinctively flinched. How stupid he must look, a massive white tom cowering away from a skinny ginger cat. He flexed his claws, muttering soft threats under his breath, anything to sound more like a warrior. Blood. Dick. Murder. 

A scoff escaped him; Minkwhisper would use the same words, and if she would think them, then they weren't warrior-y enough. That she-cat spent most her time fighting with their leader than she did any other clan duty.

"Do you think this is some kind of joke?"

Maybe he hadn't been quiet enough. "No," he mumbled as meekly as he could, averting his eyes. Great StarClan, Birdsong could be terrifying when he wanted to be. It was hard to remember that the fuming cat in front of him was the same as the one who would sing kits to sleep. In a grumble, he added, "If he fight's me, I'm going to fight back. I'm not going to let him attack me. I'm not a simp."

Birdsong rolled his eyes so hard they seemed to pop out of his skull. "Stop using words you overheard from kittypets. _Leave Dream alone._ You're going hunting by the thunderpath, you're not on an assassination mission." He muttered something under his breath which sounded suspiciously like "stupid fucking idiot," though it wasn't like he understood what any of those words meant.

"I'll be fine, Birdsong," he meowed. He hesitated, then risked leaning forwards to brush his muzzle against his friend's. "Don't worry about me. I'm so cool."

"Uh-huh." Bladeclaw didn't like the way Birdsong said that. "Just bring home lots of fresh-kill, okay? And maybe something yellow." By the pleading look in the tom's eyes, Bladeclaw realised that their elder must've had one of those mysterious dreams again. He'd heard Yellowsky's ramblings about a golden slab, something that was smooth and creamy, yet almost salty. Pretty much everyone thought he was mental, until the RiverClan medicine cat said he dreamt about weird brown fluffy things that tasted sweet and rich.

Bladeclaw dipped his head, relieved to see Birdsong's glare softening. They exchanged their farewells, and the white tom padded slowly out of camp. The pine needles lay scattered across the soft wet ground of ShadowClan territory, muffling his paw-steps. He paused, pricking up his ears, then flattened himself to the ground, rolling in the puddles of murky water and mud. His fur was heavy with it and, admittedly, it felt horrible, but it would help hide his white pelt.

The scent of frog drifts past him. His snout wrinkled – frog tasted disgusting – but it was worth a shot. He fell into a crouch, moving with an almost graceful fluidity as he crept closer. He could see it now; a muted green with black eyes, sitting beside a small puddle. As he grew nearer, the scent of prey became harder to ignore, and despite his hatred for frog, he couldn't help but drool. A sharp crack later and Bladeclaw stiffened, watching on helplessly as the frog bounded away. Something had scared it off.

He'd better find out what.

Keeping low to the ground, Bladeclaw padded towards the sound. He was upwind, unable to detect any scents. Thank StarClan for the mud. It would help disguise his own scent. Movement flashed past a tree, small and quick, and for a heartbeat Bladeclaw wondered if it was a rabbit or a squirrel. Then something followed behind it, and this time he could clearly see its pelt and that was not prey at all.

The fur along his spine bristled, heart beating in time with the dull ache in his eye. Oh, how he'd love to sink his claws into the cat who scarred him. His claws unsheathed, digging into the ground as he crept closer, his lip curling as he began to catch the scents of the outsiders. They smelt the same as they had done so many moons ago. The same scents that summoned nightmares which would keep him up all night. The scents that made him vulnerable. Weak.

His lip curled. StarClan willing, he would rip them apart. See how they'd like it to be marked forever. To be haunted by your failures.

"Oh, _George,"_ that sickeningly familiar voice taunted. Flashes of off-white fur flickered between tree trunks, moving with practised ease. Leaves rustled nearby and Bladeclaw's ear twitched. Two cats together. The same as it had been before.

History repeated itself once again.

He had no grudge against the second cat. That was not the one who had wounded him. Stifling a growl, Bladeclaw tensed his muscles, waiting for the perfect time to pounce.

"George, where'd you go?" A white cat came into view, his green eyes bright with mirth as he padded closer, ears pricked up. A green harness wrapped itself around his body, colour barely visible under the grime and dirt it had picked up. A single word was scratched onto it – Dream.

A low snarl rumbled deep in his chest before he could stop it and the white cat froze in its tracks, one paw raised with uncertainty. "George?" It repeated, taking a step back.

Bladeclaw leapt from his place, paws outstretched as his jaws widened in a roar. The two cats collided, tumbling over and over as they exchanged hisses. Bladeclaw sank his teeth into the tom's foreleg. Using his strength to his advantage, he flung the rogue as far as he could. Blood splashed into his face – not his own, he thought proudly, – and he watched as the tom-cat landed heavily against a tree trunk.

"Definitely not George," he panted, lifting himself up. He stumbled as he stood, glancing down at the trickling of blood in his foreleg. The mirth had vanished from his eyes, leaving them cold and almost murderous. Then those eyes met Bladeclaw's, and the warrior saw recognition and hatred flash through them too. _"You."_

"Yes, me," Bladeclaw spat, rising to his full height. "You think I'd give up so easily?" Dream's blood had dripped down to his muzzle and he caught the droplets with a quick flick of his tongue. The salty taste made his chest swell with pride. "You ruined me. You're lucky I'm not gonna hurt your little friend, because I would've ripped him to mousedust if I wanted to."

Maybe he had said the wrong thing, because with a furious shriek, Dream was pouncing, and Bladeclaw was not prepared. He felt claws meet in his face as he yowled, falling backwards and using the momentum of his fall to kick out with his hindlegs. That landing was a lot neater, Bladeclaw mused as he stood back up, eying up the smaller cat.

"You will not threaten my friend," Dream snarled, arching his back with another hiss. 

Had it been another other cat, the ShadowClan warrior would've been impressed by the loyalty Dream showed. "You shouldn't have attacked me, then, fox-dung," Bladeclaw retorted, lowering himself into a crouch. A thousand different calculations flashed in his mind in a single heartbeat. Following his instincts, he veered to the left, then used his full body-weight to his advantage to slam into Dream. The sheer impact would send the little cat sprawling.

At least that was what he thought. He hadn't expected Dream to be so fast. The rogue swerved out of the way and pushed up with his paws to dig his claws into Bladeclaw's back. Teeth sank into his fur and snapped away, tearing fur from his pelt. 

Spitting, Bladeclaw whirled around, trying to shake the tom from atop him. When that failed, he rolled over, intending to crush his opponent. A muffled yowl came from beneath him and the claws loosened enough for the warrior to wriggle free.

A quick strike from his large paws left a shallow nick in one of Dream's ears, but just as swiftly came Dream's counter-attack – a leap and a swipe along his side, leaving a painful wound on his shoulder.

He fell back, a soft grunt of pain escaping him as he stumbled. Now that he was slowing down, he could clearly feel the ache of his wounds. But Dream hadn't escaped their scuffle unscathed, either. That bite would leave him limping for at least a quarter-moon. He was puffing, eying Dream warily as they circled one another.

He guessed Dream's strike long before it happened, side-stepping it with a mocking laugh before plowing onwards, paws thudding against the rogue's chest. Dream made something that sounded close to a choked-off whine as he went rolling across the ground. He lay still a couple tail-lengths away. A flicker of alarm flashed through Bladeclaw. He hadn't intended to kill Dream.

"Are you dead?" He asked, feeling stupid the moment the question left his mouth. Something that sounded like a pained wheeze came from Dream and his ears pricked up. Not dead! Yet. As he padded closer, he wondered if Birdsong would help heal him. Or maybe the twolegs would. If only he was willing to venture into the twoleg-place.

He was only a rabbit-hop away from Dream's body, one paw lifted to prod at the white cat when a high-pitched yowl came from somewhere behind him and a heavy weight plunged into his back. Bladeclaw screeched as he flew forwards, landing on his face with a thud. Something had dug its teeth into his tail and wasn't letting go.

Then another weight joined it, biting down into his scruff, and for the first time Bladeclaw felt real terror. Pain lanced through his body as he struggled, struggling to shake off the two creatures attached to his back. He tried to roll over again, but this time the cats leapt off of just before impact. Though now they were cautious, aware that while exposing one's belly was risky, it left all four paws primed for attack. 

"Get away from me," Bladeclaw tried for a growl but it came out more desperate than he'd intended. Dream exchanged a glance with the brown-patched tabby beside him. A kittypet, judging by the blue collar on its neck. Bladeclaw had been bested by a rogue and a kittypet. Shame chilled him to the spine.

"Are you okay?" The tabby asked its partner. Dream looked down at himself, as if only just seeing his wounds.

"Could be worse," he mewed. "Come on. This wild cat's already got it's tail between its legs. Poor kitty, need an upwalker to help you?" Dream added, mock-concern lacing his voice. 

Bladeclaw drew himself back up onto his paws, feeling his fur bristle with anger and embarrassment. "You fight and hunt for play. I do the same for survival. StarClan will judge you when you die."

Dream's face grew shadowed but he said nothing. With a flick of his tail, he was padding away, white fur vanishing into the darkness of the pine forest. The tabby cat hesitated, shooting a pitying glance towards Bladeclaw before hurrying after the rogue.

Bladeclaw waited until their scents began to fade before he collapsed in a heap. Panting heavily, he barely had enough strength to turn and lick his wounds. Another scar, he thought with a heavy grimness as his tongue passed over his shoulder scratch. Another reason to hate Dream.

A new reason to dislike that tabby.

The moon was beginning to rise as he stumbled his way back into camp. Standing at the entrance was a very peeved-looking Birdsong, who took one look at his ruffled state and sighed. "My den. Now."

Under Birdsong's gentle care, Bladeclaw felt as though he could finally relax. Though of course, he shouldn't have let his guard down. No sooner had the last cobweb been placed, Birdsong was standing over him. The look in his eyes was more blood-chilling than Dream's could ever be.

"What was the one thing I told you not to do?"

Bladeclaw lowered his eyes, staring at his blood-stained paws as though they would grant him an escape. "Fight Dream," he mumbled.

"And what did you do?"

Great StarClan, Birdsong sounded like a mother scolding her naughty kit. The thought just made him feel worse. Sheepishly, and still avoiding Birdsong's eyes, he managed to get out a "Fight Dream."

Birdsong sighed again. Here it comes, Bladeclaw thought. The 'I'm not mad, just disappointed' talk. He settled down in his nest, stifling a tired yawn. He was in for a long night.

**Author's Note:**

> http://apawineachworld.com/untoldlegacy/?shareGuid=5ed24ff4-7e99-440e-1125-ec523b87126a
> 
> allegiance chart :)


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